December 2009
“Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.” — David Sedaris...
20 most ridiculous Lil Wayne lines ever.
shaynabossnigga:
jaws-theme-swim:
argonauts:
wandmkng:noriesays-ufa:
Birds don’t fly without my permission.
God damn that pussy tight than Tiger Woods’ sweater
I don’t visit islands I buy them
I don’t write I just spit like a tooth gone
So tell them haters cut it out like a coupon
I got chip from trying to get the whole cookie
Homeboy gotta mind that a map couldn’t find
And yo’...
awww poor Brittany Murphy. i wish i liked her movies but instead i just feel like an asshole because i never did lol
“I won’t put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and...”
i'm sitting on my couch
it’s christmas time. my tree is completely undecorated, with nothing but two red ornaments, some paper thingy, and a plastic yellow hard hat where the star should be. i’m watching meet john doe. i’m drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream i whipped WITH MY BARE HANDS holding an electric blender. i have no idea what to say.
BANANA PANCAKES.
okay we’re good. :]
“to be honest wit choo diane…”
